A piece of The Rock
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 81
MIND PRISON DEP'T.
Donald Trump Dreams of Alcatraz
ALCATRAZ! THE PRESIDENT wants to send prisoners to Alcatraz. The president "had nothing to do with" the picture of himself as the pope that he posted to his social media account on Friday, according to the president, but when a reporter asked him about his social media post from Sunday about reopening Alcatraz for "America's most ruthless and violent Offenders," he affirmed that he'd meant it, at least as much as the president ever means anything; that is, he prefaced his reply by saying "I guess I was supposed to be a movie maker" and saying that Alcatraz "represents something very strong, very powerful in terms of law and order," and then he worked his way around to saying "we're going to look at it" and "some of the people up here are going to be working very had on that."
"We'll see if we can—uhh—bring it back—in large form—add a lot—but I think it represents something," the president said.
It represents something, Alcatraz. What is Alcatraz? It is the place from which there is no coming back.
"It housed the most violent criminals in the world," the president said. "And nobody ever escaped."
This was long ago, when a man born in 1946 was just a baby and then a boy, when people still remembered Al Capone being sent there. The prison on Alcatraz closed when the boy was 17 years old. "Alcatraz is, I would say, the ultimate—right, Alcatraz—Sing Sing and Alcatraz—the movies," the president said.
The president wants to tell his people he will banish the enemy, banish and punish and utterly cast out the enemy. But the further toward the horizon you try to push the fear, the greater the fear grows, fear as vast as open water. Fear that cannot be escaped. "One person almost got there," the president said, "but they—as you know the story—they found his clothing rather badly ripped up, and it was a lot of shark bites, a lot of—a lot of problems."
Take a dangerous man, send him off to the prison island, and see him unclothed, helpless before the sharks. The president is a Poe narrator, caught up in a terror about his own safety. Even with his ravaged mind and soul the president knows where he stands. He dodged away from the looming open door of his own prison cell into a larger cage with even tighter bars. He and his administration cannot walk free in a country that is also a free country.
Bring back Alcatraz! There is no ruination that can't be overlooked, as long as you aren't the one who has to live in the ruins. "Right now," the president said, "it's a big hulk that's sitting there rusting and rotting." The president said:
Ahh, very, uhh—you look at it, it's sort of an ama—you saw that picture that was put out—it's sort of amazing, but it sort of represents something that's both horrible and beautiful and strong and miserable, weak. It's got a lot of—it's got a lot of qualities that are interesting, and I think they, they make a point.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, May 4, 2025
★★ The temperature outside had cooled off with the nighttime storms but the air conditioner kept roaring to offset the body heat in the stifling, humid betdoom with the windows closed. Light rain showed up to discourage thoughts of going anywhere, then kept coming and going. A seat out on the balcony was comfortable, interrupted by occasional moments of chilliness. Some of the green buds that had been clenched tight on the fig for weeks were starting to soften and unfurl, as the older yellowing and burnt-edged leaves still hung on. A slightly darker patch of cloud revealed itself to be moving swiftly on the seemingly tranquil sky. A gust not noticeably different from the others brought along a spattering of drops. The increasing rain-sound pursued after a retreat indoors.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
HEY! DO YOU like advice columns? They don't happen unless you send in some letters! Surely you have something you want to justify to yourself, or to the world at large. Now is the perfect time to share it with everyone else through The Sophist, the columnist who is not here to correct you, but to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Practical Cookery; A Compilation of Principles of Cookery and Recipes and The Etiquette and Service of the Table, by the Department of Food Economics and Nutrition, Kansas State Agricultural College, published in 1921, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
HAM OR TONGUE SANDWICHES
1 c. ground meat
1 pimento
4 sweet, spiced pickles
Trim fat from meat, grind all together, and spread between thin slices of buttered bread. Moisten with salad dressing if desired.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
