FOOD FRIDAY: Easy does it
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 93
FOOD FRIDAY DEP'T.
FOOD FRIDAY: Port of Call: New Orleans
MY WONDERFUL WIFE Wendy got her MLIS degree (yes, in this Economy) and we went to celebrate three years of her busting her ass with a few days of doing absofuckinglutely nothing in New Orleans, straight-up Tourist class, in the French Quarter, with lodgings at the olde-timey-fancy and super nice and not cheap Hotel Monteleone. My one travel tip is stay at the Hotel Monteleone, because you can see the giant rooftop sign from everywhere and you will never get lost no matter how many Sazeracs you have swizzled.
One morning (or possibly afternoon) we went to get beignets at the Cafe Du Monde, and this is not my travel tip, a friend told me this: don't line up and sit in the cafe, go around back to the window, order your stuff there, and then go up the stairs and sit on a bench by the Mississippi River and watch the ships go by. Also I think when you hit the window you get the beignets right outta the fryer, and like all fried things, time is of the essence. I always thought a beignet was some sort of Special Donut, I don't know why I didn't realize that a beignet is FRIED DOUGH, elemental, like an Elephant Ear at the county fair, or in my experience, a Pizza Fritta at St. Anthony's Festa. Same thing. Fried dough. Powdered sugar. One of Nature's most perfect foods.
We went nuts and had Room Service for breakfast, and I recommend Room Service in a fancy hotel to make yourself feel like you are super fancy, even if it's a plate of fruit and some yogurt, it's special. And coffee.
Whenever we got a beer we tried to get a local one, and Louisiana's Abita beers were delightful. I liked the Amber Lager, and Wendy enjoyed the Purple Haze Raspberry Lager, both of them not high-alcohol, 4.5 percent ABV and 4.2 percent ABV respectively. A refreshing drink before you get serious about drinking!
We split a muffaletta at Napoleon House, and it was perfect, with perfect sesame seed-coated bread. Napoleon House serves their muffaletta warm, and it gets all the olive-stuff and cheese and salty meats melded nicely in your mouth, ohh.
This was our session at the Hotel Monteleone Carousel Bar. A tour de force of cocktails bankrolled by a friend in Baltimore as a gift to the Graduate. The green dessert-looking drink was exactly that, sweet, minty fresh, last thing in the world we woulda ordered, we went at it Lady & The Tramp style and drained it in three seconds. Delicious. The deviled eggs, I'm not gonna lie, mine are better. The truffle fries were a slam dunk, and the little bars dusted with powdered sugar were mini Monte Cristos, fried brioche with ham, turkey, Swiss, Creole mustard, and berry compote. Crazy savory.
Getting back to beers for a sec, another Abita beer we tried was kinda shocking, it was Strawberry Lager, and it was not disgustingly fruity, it was crisp and refreshing! I gotta find some and try it one more time, because I might have had slurred tasting on account of the multiple Negronis I was served at Calogeros, where we were introduced to the Strawberry Lager, and also took an Italian lesson.
I started every day with a Pimm's Cup, based on Pimm's No. 1, which is 25 percent ABV, so it's another one of those drinks to have before you start drinking.
At Napoleon House I had a coupla Pimm's Cups (three) before tucking in to a perfect luncheon experience of a catfish po'boy with a side of red beans and rice.
My last drink in the city of New Orleans (before we headed to the bar at the airport) was at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Piano Bar and Lounge, and I got myself a Hurricane, despite the availability of PURPLE DRANK, which I think I mighta went for on night one. Good times. New Orleans, would eat and drink again!
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, May 22, 2025
★ No one felt like waking up with the sun still missing. There was little difference between having the blinds open on the gray outside and closing them again. Whether to deploy an umbrella or not seemed fully undecided, right down to a couple walking along with one extended and another furled. A gust of wind either briefly strengthened the drizzle or shook more of the old accumulated drizzle out of the trees. Up in the West 150s, where the land fell away toward the river, the Hudson was the color of the buildings that framed it. The wind got sharper and for a moment it had no rain on it. When it was time to duck out to the market for dinner supplies, the rain had returned, not pelting but slow and relentless, accumulating on the leaves till they were as wet as they could be.
SIDE PIECES DEP'T
Tom Scocca
FOR MY DEFECTOR column, I wrote about how the Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson book tour, with its obsessive rehashing of Joe Biden's unfitness for last year's election, seems strangely unfocused on the more pressing question of what happens when a president isn't up to the demands of the job:
In the Times and New York interviews alike, Tapper brought up the question of the "proverbial 2 a.m. phone call with a national security emergency," the ultimate test of presidential trustworthiness and judgment. "We had a cabinet secretary say in the book: If you expect the president to be somebody who can be woken up at 2 a.m. because there's a national or international crisis, Biden was not capable of that in 2024."
Who believes that Donald Trump—fixated on imaginary graves and Photoshopped tattoos—is going to be able to process new and alarming information in the middle of the night, with the fate of the world at stake? This is a president who reverses his own tariff policy depending on which advisors can catch him alone at any given moment, who decides to declare he's reopening the derelict Alcatraz prison on a whim, who needs to be mollified with baby talk to keep him focused on his own budget bill.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of sandwiches selected from The Pilgrim Cook Book, published in 1921 by The Ladies' Aid Society of Pilgrim Evangelical Lutheran Church, Chicago, IL, and now available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Cheese Sandwiches.
Take 20 cents worth of American cheese, 3 small cans pimentoes, 1/2 pound boiled ham or 1/2 pound bacon fried, and put all through the food chopper. Mix with mayonnaise. This quantity is sufficient for about 50 sandwiches. — Mrs. O'Rourke.
Cheese Sandwiches.
One-half pound American cheese, 2 green peppers ( charp) [Ed. note: we have no idea what “charp” means here], 2 onions, 12 sweet pickles. Chop very fine and add mayonnaise dressing. Spread on buttered bread. — Mrs. Graser.
Sandwich Filling.
After removing the seeds of a sweet green pepper, chop fine and add to two cakes of Blue Label cheese. Thin all with mayonnaise dressing so it can be spread easily. — Mrs. E. A. Bierdemann.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
