MR WRONG: Congress' Day Off
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 184
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Time for a Weekend at Bernie's
I CAN’T BELIEVE all the stupid crap going on right now, seriously, the last thing I want to do is talk about Politics and The Government, feh! But these relentless dipshits are getting all the headlines, you know?
I am a typical American, I think. I want to do my Civic Duty! I got called for Jury Duty, I will go, I am not trying to duck it. I vote and stuff, in order to elect somebody to the Government, and then I want them to fucking handle it! Govern! Right? Even if I voted against your ass! Go do some Government!
This one guy, who runs the Republicans, he looks like fuckin’ Ferris Bueller Day Off, no offense, dude always has a fuckin’ smirk on his face, and he sent errbody home from the fucking whatever, the Senate? The House? The Government, part of it, where they are supposed to be a goddamn Deliberative body? And nobody’s punching in on the shop floor because this cheeseball is trying to stop, I don’t even know at this point, is it the Epstein tapes, the files? Dude was running a sex-slave operation on a private fucking island and he had an airplane that apparently everybody in Hollywood and the Government rode on? There’s a list? And there is a grand total of one fucking person right now in gaol behind this shit? And they just got a better gaol to sit in?
I don’t know, man, how can this be real? But how can it not be real! What else are the Republicans fighting, Health Care? That’s the only thing I hear about the Democrats, is that they want the Republicans to keep Obamacare? That’s it? So that’s what the Republicans are against? How the fuck can you be against Health Care? Why isn’t anybody on the Democrats telling all these people in the square states that most of their good Health Care is tied to the Affordable Care Act? Affordable!
Why aren’t the Democrats running ads on the teevee news for the old people to see, explaining that their Health Care is in trouble and the Government needs be Deliberating or however it works?
And also that Ferris fuckin’ Bueller (no offense)-looking putz won’t swear in some Democrat who got elected? And even the fucking New York Times says it’s not for any real Government or Law reason? I am running outta question marks for today’s column!!! I don’t want to have to think about this stuff! Why is the Loyal Opposition not pummeling a failure to Government rap all over the place on these Republican’ts? Can’t! Won’t!
Seriously, this is giving me blood pressure, I can’t take it. If only there could be some sort of great spontaneous gathering, in cities all across this great land of ours, citizens, exercising their right to the Freedom of Assembly, and Freedom of Speech, people who are mad as hell and not gonna take it any more! Maybe on a weekend? Thank you.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, October 14, 2025
★★★ The sun wasn't making much of a showing but there was blue in the sky. A man with a white goatee, wearing a windbreaker and spandex shorts, rollerbladed along in the street. The plaza by the cathedral was gated off but the pebble-paved community garden had a free table for eating a piece of strudel with coffee in the hushed, cloudy dimness. Around quarter to 2, the sun abruptly cleared the edge of a sheet of cloud and sent sneeze-inducing brightness up Broadway. An extremely unprepossessing banner leaning outside a barbership, with a giant picture of a barber pole on it, caught the light like a jib filling with wind. For a while, the afternoon belonged to the jacketless, and the clouds were in full rout. Even after the warmth had retreated, the sky stayed clear.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
HEY! DO YOU like advice columns? They don't happen unless you send in some letters! Surely you have something you want to justify to yourself, or to the world at large. Now is the perfect time to share it with everyone else through The Sophist, the columnist who is not here to correct you, but to tell you why you're right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of sandwiches selected from Buffalo Cookery: A Collection of Choice Recipes Carefully Selected, by St. Luke's Sunday-School Ladies' Auxiliary, Buffalo, Wyoming in 1916 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
CHICKEN SANDWICHES
Boil one chicken whole, when done have only one pint of water over it. Cut chicken in small pieces, season, pour liquor over it, and set to harden. Slice and put between thin slices of bread.
CHICKEN SANDWICHES
Mrs. W. R. Holt
Boil chicken until very tender. Pick from bones, and grind in meat chopper. Season with salt and pepper, and use enough cream salad dressing to make a soft paste. Add one cup chopped nuts, and spread between thin slices of buttered bread, placing a lettuce leaf between each.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net .
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
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