MR WRONG

MR WRONG: Get your LX in

Indignity Vol. 6, No. 11

JOE MACLEOD

06 Feb 2026 — 9 min read

Photo by Xiangkun ZHU / Unsplash

HOLD ON WAIT A MINUTE DEP'T.

Before the next chapter drops, take a trip down THE STAIRS, Tom Scocca's serialized work of fiction!

COLUMN DEP’T.

MR WRONG: What Time Is the Super Bowl Column? Right Now!

SUPER BOWL IS now! Arrooo!!! I know! Everything is terrible, and Sunday I am going to watch Super Bowl Roman Numeral LX, which is “60,” and anybody who has ever let their eyeballs fall on a MR WRONG column knows that we (The Royal Me, as in: I) always find a way to get cranked up for Super Bowl!

Technically the Super Bowl is Sunday, February 8, kickoff time 6:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time! Service Journalism! Also, I put that in to help Indignity's Search Engine Optimization or something.

Have you ever had a case of the "Genny Screamers?" Would you like to know more: [**YES**]

I don’t care who’s playing! I don’t care who wins! It’s Super Bowl! I am going to eat, drink, and be somebody! Chicken wings! Pizza! Some goat cheese I bought because we got a buncha crackers at the price club and they are mega-garlicky and so I will cut ‘em with the spreadable goat cheese! Who cut the cheese? Me! All day at Super Bowl of American football, I might even drink some wine because I don’t think goat cheese pairs well with Genesee Cream Ale! I don't really even drink wine, but we always have a bottle of wine in the house because people give us bottles of wine as a gift (and then we re-gift 'em), but there's always an extra bottle. Anyway, let’s go!

It's called **SENSIBLE PORTIONS**, that's the name of the crackers! The cheese, I bought it at the regular grocery store, that's a hunka cheese the size of one of those travel-size toothpastes, and it's almost seven bucks, oof.

There’s going to be the big Halftime part of the Super Bowl! People who hate stuff are mad because Bad Bunny is performing, and he’s a gentleman from Puerto Rico. One of the football athletes was quoted as saying they wanted American stuff at halftime and not anything from a foreigner. What a fucking dipshit. That player is not alone! There will be alternate programming, which I do not endorse because I am not a dipshit who doesn’t understand Puerto Rico, and also, I am not changing the channel from Super Bowl! Are you kidding me? Good luck with all the non-Super events, har! Usually I go look at the CIA World Factbook to find out stuff about faraway lands, but apparently in this Economy, somebody decided we don't need so many facts!

It's **part of the United States**, dum-dums!

The beauty of an event such as Super Bowl is it is another perfect crutch for pooping out a column! Last week was Groundhog Day, for example, crutchwise!

I don’t have to make a column about Super Bowl if I don’t want to, but I am genuinely psyched for Super Bowl! LX! Pronounced LICKS!!! Meanwhile, speaking of hatred, it really bugs me, I am not kidding, I really fucking hate that we’re in the era of PREVIEWING commercials that will be on Super Bowl! Argh! Bleah!

I just saw something the other day that woulda made me laugh my ass off I had been surprised by it during Super Bowl LX, if I happened to be looking at the teevee and not a chicken wing, but now it’s spoilered. I’m not going to tell you what it is because I do not spoiler stuff! If you really want to know, the spoilering is here.

Also, right now there are commercials with highly-accomplished football guy Tom Brady, who used to be a quarterback. He has won more Bowls-Super than any other quarterback, and that is kind of a big deal, but I’m supposed to buy Pizza Hut pizza from Tom Brady, who is known for a maniacally-focused training regimen and diet, and who famously eats science goop? My brain is exploding from the hypocrisy of this jughead. How much more money and attention does a famous person need? I veto and boycott all this stuff until the media beatings subside!

Or all this Artificial AI! There’s gonna be a hundred commercials for gambling, and commercials for AI, but wake me when there’s the commercial for AI + gambling that will tell me the score of the game! Ha! Parlay that! Seriously though, if you are gonna gamble, find somebody who's doing one of these totally random grid-things, and then you super won't care who wins because you will be rooting for the number that's at an intersection of vertices or something. I am not good at math. Intersection? Anyway, that's what I'm doing, I bought a square at the Legion hall, and I will be cheering for a number!

Example of Random_Numbers grid. FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY

Also for instance, howabout these commercials where people buy a car on their phone either from a giant tower full of cars, or else they make the deal for their car on their phone, and they buy the car by stroking their phone a few times and then they announce on the commercial "hey, here’s how you buy a car!"

I never get tired of the football with chicken wings, and this year I added the Moon Landing!

Look, I know commercials are lies, all that stuff is a lie, advertising, and that is a fundamental industry of America, misrepresenting shit to get people to give you money! Caveat emptor and stuff! Be very fucking aware!

The commercials are telling you that the Artificial Intellect is going to give you a workout program, when there have been thousands of books and magazine articles written about how to do a goddamn pushup! And eat less calories than you burn so you lose weight! Yes, I will be thinking these thoughts while I am shoveling chip and dip into my Super-hole!

I am not judging you if you want to take a semi-glue shot to lose weight and (side-effect) lose your enthusiasm for food (and life) in order to suck down to a lighter weight like they want you to do in advertising! I liked you better when you were enjoying life, personally! You shouldn’t be worrying about conforming! Fuck them, whoever They are! Enjoy life! If you don't want to look at the Super Bowl, go outside and look at the sky or whatever you want! This is still America. Thank you.

PLEASE SEND THE MR WRONG COLUMN A COUPLA BUCKS FOR SUPER SNACKS

Previously in SUPER BOWL:

C'MON @baltimoresun.bsky.social I DON'T EXPECT A *MR WRONG* CATEGORY BUT COULD YOU AT LEAST MAKE A *CITY PAPER* CATEGORY JEEZ www.baltimoresun.com/2015/01/27/m... [GIFT LINK]
— JOE MACLEOD 666 (@joemacleod666.bsky.social) 2026-02-06T15:55:31.331Z

TELL PEOPLE ON BLUESKY ABOUT SUPER BOWL

The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.

SIDE PIECES DEP'T.

Over at Flaming Hydra, Joe remembers a guy everybody called Johnny Dee.

He was probably in his 60’s when I knew him, and he looked kinda rough, with a grey-tinged toupee on his head that wasn’t fooling anybody, but it was part of his look.

EASY LISTENING DEP'T.

Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of sandwiches selected from Catering for Special Occasions, with Menus & Recipes, by Fannie Merrit Farmer, published in 1911 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

LAYER SANDWICHES

Cut brown and white bread in thin slices and spread with creamed butter. Cut tongue and gruyere cheese in slices. Arrange sliced tongue over the white bread, and over tongue brown bread, and over brown bread cheese; repeat, trim evenly, put under a weight and let stand for several hours, then cut crosswise in thin slices. Arrange on a plate covered with a doiley, overlapping one another.

If you are inspired to prepare a sandwich inspired by these offerings, be sure to send your thoughts and a picture to indignity@indignity.net.

PLEASE SEND MONEY TO INDIGNITY WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF DOILEYS