MR WRONG: Mad at the Fourth of July
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 120
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: I Coulda Sworn We Got Rid of Kings and We Made a Whole Holiday About It
TOMORROW, JULY 4, 2025, is the Fourth of July here in The United States of America. The Editor of Indignity and I take National Holidays very seriously, not only because it means we don’t have to work, but I think also because it is a legit Time of Reflection, whatever one happens to be doing on one’s Holiday, which, in this case for me, on a Some Personal News angle, will be occurring in an Undisclosed beach community on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean in the state of New Jersey, one of the original 13 states of the Union that declared independence from a fucking king, in this case of England, and here we are, coming off a “No Kings” event, in a country that is not supposed to have a king, but we had a Commie-Dictator Military-style Dear Leader parade in Our Nation’s Capital, which, I mean, I wasn’t there, but it looked boring AF, and that AF does not stand for Air Force, if you know what I mean, and I think you do, and also, I salute all the Armed Services of the United States of America, because we still live on a savage planet and it doesn’t seem like that’s gonna change any time soon, and we helped. I don’t have any fucking illusions about The State of The Union, war-wise, Declared or Un, and I sure don’t mean UN, OK? Seriously, whatever happened to the United Nations, do we still have that? I always thought that was a nice idea.
This is when I think about that famous poster of Uncle Sam, pointing at YOU, but it means me.
So hey, it’s the Fourth of July, and other than me always wondering if I’m spelling “Fourth” right, because I don’t do Crossword Puzzles and I have a fuzzy brain, and yeah, I know, I have a fuzzy brain about everything, har de har har. I feel kinda bad about everything right now, America-wise, and I have no fucking idea how shit is gonna get better when we, as in U.S., are making concentration camps right here in the U.S. of A., and not that it’s any worse than making concentration camps in other countries, along with whatever they used to call those places where they would do Extraordinary Rendition or whatever it was called after the Twin Towers got dropped and thousands of people died and We The People declared a War on Terror because there was a War on Freedom. We never even closed the one from the last War on Freedom, you know?
So! I will do some serious Cognitive Dissonance this Holiday Weekend! I am gonna go to the beach and swill a cold beer and stare at the Atlantic Ocean until I realize it is in the direction of Over There, where hundreds of years ago there was a batshite-crazy king, and also where right now, scores of people are gonna die because The United States of America decided that Soft Power is soft and we aren’t gonna do that anymore, no free rides, no Medical help, aren’t gonna be nice to anybody unless we get something for it, aren’t gonna care about People, ugh.
July 1 was Canada Day, that’s also a good Holiday, congratulations to Canada for not being America right now, jeez.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, July 2, 2025
★★★ The gurgle of the air conditioner cycling off faded out to reveal the sound of rain. The rain stayed around intermittently, then left the day to sun that couldn't quite dry things out. In the Park, black-eyed Susans sprawled in a wire-enclosed patch on the way uphill, and what looked like some kind of sunflowers grew chest-high in a burst of growth engulfing the base of a towering elm. Some of the mugwort further along had shot up taller than a person, and behind it pokeweed thrust its swollen woodless stalks even higher than that.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
HERE IS THE Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
HEY! DO YOU like advice columns? They don't happen unless you send in some letters! Surely you have something you want to justify to yourself, or to the world at large. Now is the perfect time to share it with everyone else through The Sophist, the columnist who is not here to correct you, but to tell you why you're right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Encyclopedia of Cookery; 1001 Recipes, Menus & Rules for Modern, Scientific and Economic Cookery (Vol. 4), by Eugene Christian and Molly Griswold Christian, published by the Corrective Eating Society in 1920, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
SWEET APPLE SANDWICHES
Cut sweet apples in thin slices, cover with grated nuts and spread between buttered whole wheat crackers.
APPLE SANDWICHES
Peel and grate one tart apple. Mix one-half cake cream cheese with one tablespoon thick cream, then add grated apple, flavor with nutmeg, spread between crackers or whole wheat bread.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net .
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
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