Always get the big peanuts


Always get the big peanuts

Previously in Indignity

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Some Virginia Peanuts
These nuts

The Best Snack Is Some Virginia Peanuts

I AM TRYING to be Healthy and eat more Healthy things, so that I can exist as the result of being Healthy. I don’t put sugar in my coffee anymore, except on the weekends, because sugar is bad, if you eat it like you are addicted to it, which I was, the idea that I couldn’t drink a cuppa coffee without sugar in it, which, the only reason I’m drinking coffee is to be awake, it’s a drug already, and then if you go and make it taste better with sugar, then you drink too much coffee! I used to drink three cups of coffee, three big Dunkin Donuts XL-sized cups, with whatever they use for creamer and whatever they use for sugar, I think it’s some liquid stuff. I would drink so much coffee that way, and get so much caffeine into my system that my eyeballs would dry out, I’m not kidding.

Anyway, I have a screwed-up back, with like, the nerves and stuff, and a Medical Doctor told me to maybe lose a few and it would be good for my back. I agreed, it made sense, losing a few pounds, that would be good. I visualized the extra fat I was carrying around in the front of my midsection, scientifically I’m gonna call it my Gut region, and it stood to reason that if I could unload some of the weight right there, I would be freeing myself from carrying around a backpack full of extra Me, only in the front, and that’s not helping my spine, right? You can’t really lift with your legs when the weight is inside of you, see?

I made a deal with myself to just stop with the extra sugar, calories-wise, and maybe that could reduce the size of my front-pack. I told myself that if I drank less coffee, I would have fewer opportunities to dump sugar into it, and I was successful! Now when I drink too much coffee, like this morning, I had four cups of coffee, but no sugar! I only had to make that choice a few times, to skip the sugar, and then I got used to the way it tasted. Plus, now sometimes on the weekend when I have my Cheat Day, I find myself putting two sugars into my coffee instead of three or four like I used to, because now that much sugar tastes kinda sick-making to me.

I also went on a kind of diet, I cut down on how much macaroni and bread and pizza I eat. Pizza once a week at the most, and just trying to avoid macaroni outside of an occasional pasta-dose. Also, less beer. Not no beer, just less. It’s not hard, you just drink a big glass of water in between beers, and you will drink fewer beers.

My whole big kind-of-a-diet initiative fell apart at Snack Time. I am not going to live a life without crunchy snacks, but if you’re trying to lose a few pounds, you gotta stop with the Doritos and stuff for awhile, the potato chips, you have to get some sort of discipline, and not have the stuff in the house for awhile, just don’t kid yourself that you can have the stuff in the house and not eat a whole bag of like, those Ruffles with the cheddar and sour cream flavor-dust on them, ohh. I can’t have a bag of that and tell myself it’s Snack Time and eat, like 1/4 of the bag! I’m gonna pour one quarter of the bag into a bowl and then as soon as I empty it, I’m going back to the bag, and I’m gonna start bargaining with myself about how just this one time, I’m gonna put a few more chips in the bowl, just a few extras, I’m gonna pick out some of the big chips, the best ones, and I’ll be satisfied, and then I do that three more times and I’m holding the bag up over my head and dumping the remaining dregs, the chip-crumbs, directly into my chip-hole. So I just stopped buying bags of chips, so that there was no opportunity for a weak moment, and then in the Snack Vacuum, I forced myself to find other things for crunchy snacks, and the best snack, I think, for being healthy, as long as you’re not allergic, is peanuts.

With peanuts you can get the salt hit, and there’s oil from the peanuts, and protein, a lot of it, on account of a peanut is a legume, and it kills your appetite! I started with other nuts, pistachios, cashews, and smoked almonds, but there’s a burnout factor, you just get sick of ‘em. Not the same for me with plain, simple peanuts. Not dry roasted, not honey roasted, just regular peanuts or Spanish peanuts, just salt and oil. You don’t get burned out on them, you get satisfied, it’s different.

On my peanut journey, I have learned to appreciate a certain type of peanut above all others, the Virginia peanut. I learned this at the site:

Virginia was the first known North American location for peanuts to be planted, but the name “Virginia Peanuts” is not just a designation for where the peanuts were grown. Virginia Peanuts are one of four distinct peanut varieties (the other three are Runner Peanuts, Spanish Peanuts, and Valencia Peanuts) and are not just grown in Virginia, but also in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Texas.
A big can of Planters Peanuts and a bag of Parker's Peanuts Salted Virginia Peanuts

Virginia Peanuts are a little bigger than regular peanuts, and way harder, way crunchier, incredibly satisfying for Snack Time. They also cost more. I bought a 32 oz. bag of Virginia Peanuts at the grocery store and it was like fifteen bucks. I can go to BJs or Costco and get a 56 oz. can of regular Planters Peanuts for about nine bucks, but they just don’t compare, they are softer and not as junk-food satisfying to chew.

A few regular peanuts alongside some Virginia Peanuts showing the Virginia Peanuts to be larger and paler in color
Regular peanuts on the left, Virginia Peanuts on the right.

So, my diet worked. I lost weight, and when I lost a certain amount of weight, it became easier to go to physical therapy and exercise. My back is working better, and I remind myself constantly that it’s because I am paying attention to my diet and especially Snack Time and making healthy choices, and it’s not that tough, and I’m totally gonna have Cheat Day, especially with Super Bowl this weekend, but Monday morning I’m gonna toss anything in the house that’s a cheese doodle or whatever, and I’m always gonna have a big bag of Virginia Peanuts around, so I won’t freak out about not having any Crunchies in the house and I can glom a fistful of salty peanuts and deaden the hum of my Snack Impulse.

A lightly cloudy blue sky

New York City, February 8, 2024

★★★★ Sunrise was when a sunrise ought to have been, and all day the gold tinge on the light out the windows felt like an announcement that the cold was in retreat. A middle-aged man on Central Park West had gone all the way to shorts and what looked like a golf shirt, which was a little much. A film of cloud scattered the light, making the ultratalls into smoky blue silhouettes. A hawk flapped down the lower reaches of the Great Hill and hung a right out into the street grid. A squirrel sent out a long, creaky call from a skinny branch above the uphill path. Colors were wakening in the landscape: a tree trunk stood striped in chocolate, warm tan, and green; the gray of lichen on a rock brightened to a pale blue. Teens scuffed their shoes in the cinders of the track, milling around under adult supervision. A starling glided in among the robins on the lawn.


Indignity Morning Podcast No. 215: Someone said something.

Tom Scocca • Feb 9, 2024


EVERY DAY, READERS of Indignity have provided us with codes for the Bluesky social network, and on behalf of other readers who have benefitted from this generosity, we express our gratitude. Today we learned Bluesky is now open to all.

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WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of sandwiches from 800 Proved Pecan Recipes: Their Place in the Menu, by 5,083 Housewives in America and abroad, who in response to a request for their choicest proved pecan recipes, submitted over twenty-one thousand, covering every phase of every meal, for all seasons of the year, published by the Keystone Pecan Research Laboratory, Manheim, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania in 1925, now in the Public Domain and available at for the delectation of all.

In these days of automobile outings, when the  repast is eaten close to Nature, the need for a greater variety of sandwiches is clearly seen.  The school child’s lunch and the informal social affair have also stressed the same need, until it is now true that of sandwiches, canapés, etc., there is a variety far greater than our grandparents or parents would have conceived possible.

But the motorist or hiker's repast must contain real nutriment, and it is this need that the pecan fills so well. If the pecan were of such pronounced flavor as some other nuts, it might soon become unwelcome, but it fortunately has a mild yet alluring flavor which, combined with its food nutritive merit, makes it the best source of protein and fat for the sandwich filling. Nor can its superiority in mineral salts and in vitamin be overlooked, for these make a luncheon of pecan sandwiches (especially in whole wheat bread) practically a complete diet when supplemented by an apple, peach or other fresh fruit.

Apple Sandwiches
2 mellow apples
Crisp lettuce leaves
1/2 C. mayonnaise
1 C. grated pecans

Peel the apples and cut in thin round slices. Place a lettuce leaf on a slice of bread, dip the apple slices in the dressing and arrange on the lettuce. Sprinkle with pecans. Top with another slice of bread spread with mayonnaise.
—Brooke S. Ramey.

Asparagus Sandwiches
1/2 can mashed asparagus tips
1/2 C. thick white sauce
1/4 C. thick mayonnaise  
1/2 t. salt
1/8 t. paprika
1/2 C. grated pecans

Combine ingredients and spread on slices of bread.
—Mrs. Martin H. Collins.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to


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