Eat your purples
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 123
BUSINESS DEP'T.
GOOD EVENING! If the posting and especially the podcasting have seemed a bit erratic lately, that's because your Indignity editor is currently doing some temporary contracting work for a major media company, to help pay for summer vacation and maybe also for a new bathtub. Also your Indignity editor is going to take some vacation this summer. We are juggling the schedule to keep giving you as much Indignity as we can; for instance, this evening, after clocking out, I typed up this ranked list that was rattling around in my head, rather than writing an essay about some depressing current event, such as Elon Musk's chatbot going entirely Nazi. Musk kept trying to make a chatbot that wouldn't keep contradicting his worldview or saying he was misinformed, and it turns out that if you calibrate the chatbot controls to eliminate disagreement with Elon Musk, the text that comes out is explicit, Stormfront-level antisemitism and racism, with a side of fantasies about violence and sexual degradation. Albert Burneko wrote a good blog about it for Defector, and important figures in media and politics continued using X dot Com today even after the chatbot calibrated to flatter its owner's ideology had literally praised Hitler and called for killing the Jews. Instead of any more about that, here's the ranked list, so I can see if I can get up in the morning and fit in a recording session for the podcast before I clock in. Thank you for your patience.
SUMMER PRODUCE DEP'T.
Fruits and Vegetables That Come in Variant Colors, Individually Ranked by Color Variants
Cauliflower
- Purple
- White
- Orange
Bell Peppers
- Red
- Orange
- Green
- Yellow
- Purple
Cherries
- Dark red
- White
- Bright red
Zucchini
- Yellow
- Green
Strawberries
- Red
- White
Swiss Chard
- Red
- Rainbow
- Green
Peaches
- White
- Yellow
Nectarines
- White
- Yellow
Tomatoes
- Red
- Yellow
- Green
Cherry Tomatoes
- Orange
- Yellow
- Red
Beets
- Gold
- Red
Sweet Potatoes
- White
- Purple
- Orange
Cabbage
- Green
- Red
Kale
- Green
- Red
Brussels Sprouts
- Green
- Purple
Carrots
- Orange
- Multicolored
Asparagus
- Green
- Purple
- White
Watermelon
1. (tie) Yellow, Red
SIDE PIECES DEP'T.
Joe MacLeod
FOR FLAMING HYDRA, Joe constructed a tribute to the X-career of Linda Yaccarino.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, July 8, 2025
★★★ Delicate sheets of speckled clouds stretched out above white puffs. An air conditioner blew hot exhaust across the sidewalk at face level. Back indoors, the cooling was oppressively harsh, still fighting off a level of heat that had already departed. The balcony was comfortable by comparison. Outside in the later day, spray from an unseen open hydrant blew into the avenue from the next cross street down. The sky had turned a mostly even gray, but piles of darker gray reared above the treetops in the Park. The weather app said there was still time to fit in a walk before the storms would hit. A flicker appeared in the sky away downtown. The fireflies were thick and flying low, taking advantage of the interval between the onset of the gloom and the rain. Sour traces of weed smoke stuck to the air. In the dimming light, the new growth extending from an elm made lighter green segments against the deep green pile of the crown. Thunder growled, and kept growling, and then growled on even longer than that.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS THE Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
HEY! DO YOU like advice columns? They don't happen unless you send in some letters! Surely you have something you want to justify to yourself, or to the world at large. Now is the perfect time to share it with everyone else through The Sophist, the columnist who is not here to correct you, but to tell you why you're right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Encyclopedia of Cookery; 1001 Recipes, Menus & Rules for Modern, Scientific and Economic Cookery (Vol. 4), by Eugene Christian and Molly Griswold Christian, published by the Corrective Eating Society in 1920, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
HERRING OR ANCHOVY SANDWICHES
Wash, skin and remove bones from fish, chop fine with a few tender celery hearts or endive. Spread whole wheat crackers with sweet butter and place fish and celery between. Press firmly together and serve.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net .
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
Indignity is presented on Ghost. Indignity recommends Ghost for your Modern Publishing needs. Indignity gets a slice if you do this successfully!
