MR WRONG: Have a ball!
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 171
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: You Can Check Out the Sphere Any Time You Like
OK, LAST WEEK in this space, I was talking about, I don’t even remember what I was talking about, but I never really got to talk about my Vacation to Las Vegas, in full, so you can look here for last week’s column, and then here for my food-centric experience in Vegas. Would eat again!
The really big deal about my Las Vegas trip was that we got to go inside this thing called The Sphere, which is wild, it’s, well, a big fuckin’ Sphere, which I love. I love spheres, I even loved that movie Sphere when it came out, which I don’t think a lotta people enjoyed, according to Wikipedia:
The film centers on a large mysterious underwater object discovered by Navy divers. It is based on Michael Crichton's novel of the same name. The film was released in the United States on February 13, 1998 to negative reviews and was a box office failure.
I did, though, I enjoyed! I am Team Sphere, if you will, and so I was completely in the tank to be inside the Sphere, I didn’t care what they were going to project or whatever they do, I was ready to believe it!
I thought maybe we were going to see The Wizard of Oz, which I heard was a hundred bucks a seat, and I thought that was fine, a hundred bucks is about five times the most I ever paid to go to a movie, but it’s The Sphere! It goes all the way around, that’s gotta be at least ten times the normal size of a movie screen. I’m in!
What had happened though, was we totally got hooked up, one of our relatives got us tickets to go to The Sphere, and it was for a performance by the Eagles, or, I guess, Eagles, is how they like to be addressed, like the Pixies are really called Pixies and stuff. Eagles!
So first of all, if you are an Eagles hater, go away. You probably saw the major motion picture The Big Lebowski, and you want to be like the beloved movie character The Dude, as portrayed by Jeff Bridges. Great movie, I think it also did not do well, box-officewise, but it became a Cult Classic, and there are people who go to conventions and dress up like The Dude, in a bathrobe and stuff, that’s fine, but there’s a whole thing in the movie where The Dude gets mad about “the Eagles,” and I think there are a lot of people who Columbused his hatred or whatever. Also, if you genuinely hate Eagles, go with G-d, but also just please go, I enjoyed many of the songs performed at this event, in The Sphere.
Also though, there is something about The Sphere: you walk in and there’s a replica of the famous robot from The Day The Earth Stood Still, I think the robot’s name was Gort, and this is not the one with Keanu Reeves and Don Draper, though, I'm talkin' the OG.
“Klaatu barada nikto!” That’s a thing that the space alien says in the movie, I don’t want to spoiler it, but it involves the robot, and again, you walk into The Sphere and there’s Gort, looking all retro-futuristic, and you’re in this voluminous, sparkling clean lobby, four levels, so, up through the vast vertical space of lobby we traveled, on a couple-few escalators, which are big in the news lately, and as we passed Gort I said, in the manner of probably like, a thousand other goofballs who have gone inside The Sphere, “Klaatu barada nikto, my brother,” to the fake robot.
Before we arrived on the 300 level, and before we walked into the The Sphere proper, the spherical part, and to our seats, we got some draft beers, good ones, like, "hazy" IPAs and double-dog dubbels, not macrobrews, and they were stadium prices, however, they were jumbo portions, so there was a modicum of Value in The Sphere! Plus, the beers were served in a plastic The Sphere cup that kept them way colder than in a normal cup. Would drink again!
Then, though, we got out into the seating area, and it reminded me of something, but I couldn’t quite place it, except it was kinda creepy!
The arena in Dune! More specifically, Dune 2! Disturbing! Vertiginous! Holy wow, I could hear them, in my head, baying in the Harkonnen tongue, the crowd! I’m a friggin’ worker ant in a vast sea of yahoos! Panem et circenses!
It was a great show, though, Eagles!
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, September 24, 2025
★★ Dull light and soggy air stretched on, unvarying. The lawns from the Park gate to the Pool were starkly, entirely deserted, despite the warmth and the holiday. Somewhere at the far end of this was supposed to be rain. Young people slouched on a bench in a hanging cloud of smoke. The green tones were abundant and lovely: drifting duckweed, spinning around an obstacle, traced a smooth curve on its way over the falls. Round ripples appeared on the water, either from some school or swarm of something stirring below or from the faintest possible phantom rain. Up on the hilltop, grown or near-grown men were playing Red Light, Green Light. A raccoon sauntered across the steps that led down to the Strangers' Gate. The rain came on heavily at night, audible in between the cycles of the air conditioner.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
HEY! DO YOU like advice columns? They don't happen unless you send in some letters! Surely you have something you want to justify to yourself, or to the world at large. Now is the perfect time to share it with everyone else through The Sophist, the columnist who is not here to correct you, but to tell you why you're right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of sandwiches selected from British Everyday Cookery, published by Whitcombe and Tombs in 1910 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
DISH WITH ASPARAGUS SANDWICHES.
One cup asparagus points, 1/2 teacup whipped cream, 1/2 teacup mayonnaise sauce or salad dressing, 1/2 teacup aspic jelly, seasoning.
Rub the asparagus through a sieve when cold; add the sauce and jelly, which should be liquid, but not warm. When the mixture begins to set, add the cream and season. Make sandwiches with this puree between. Arrange them on a dish round a crisp salad, decorated with the whites of hard-boiled eggs cut into rings and slices of tomato.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net .
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
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