MR WRONG: Is knowledge power?

COLUMN DEP’T.

MR WRONG: No News Is No News

THE OTHER DAY I decided I need to live differently and have more and better Goals and things like that. Self-Improvement! This is mostly because I am Underemployed, and I spend a lotta time applying for jobs and filling out forms where I am constantly repeating myself in terms of what I have done for work in my life and what years did I do those things and who was my supervisor and what was my title when I worked there and what did I do exactly as that title and why exactly did I leave or am I still there and can we ask anybody about when you were at those places where you claim to have worked and where did you go to school and for how long and did you get a degree in anything and what was your Grade Point Average and did you learn anything specifically like what was your major and do you have any skills or stuff that might make you a good candidate for this job and is there anybody who would give you a reference on a personal yet professional level and what is their phone number, etc.

So, like, my brain is in this weird groove of where I really need to Concentrate on filling out the forms and making sure whichever version of my resume that I send out doesn’t have a typographical error in it, and same goes for my Cover Letter where I remind the Potential Employer that I have a resume and references and also here is an amusing anecdote or other relatable and compelling statement I might relay to you in hopes it may cause you as a potential Future Employer to bring me in for a sit-down or email me a Zoom-thing so we can discuss the position and stuff. I’m a people-person, seriously.

A successful-in-being-Gainfully-Employed friend of mine told me they never start their day by listening to The News on the radio or watching TV that has News on it, or websites with News, or any News, however it might try to manifest itself. They said that exposing oneself to the News generally overloads your brain with information that is not necessarily important as you begin your day, and it can bombard your psyche with anxiety and stress and confusion, and it fractures your thoughts and affects how you focus on the things you need to do in your day to improve your life. They listen to music, usually.

My first thought was: I can’t do that! How the hell can I do that? I turn on the radio as soon as I hit the bathroom in the morning and I listen to the News, so I know what’s going on in the World, like, if it’s OK to go outside, you know? Howabout just like, simpler stuff like the traffic? Not that I actually have anywhere I need to drive toward just now, Employment-wise, Also, howabout the Weather? I know you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, but what about this afternoon, is it gonna rain, should I bring my umbrella?

Another also is: how the heck does somebody who works in the News do that, avoid a basic element of their job, so they can be better at it? I dunno! I don’t work in the News, but I have a General Interest newspaper-style column to write, and in order to do that I gotta get some News in there, into my brain-pan, so I can have some Opinions about things! I don’t think this News avoidance approach is for me.

However, as I stated in my Thesis Paragraph, I am Underemployed, to which I will add that my entire life, I been listening to the News and watching the News and Paying attention to the News, and that my day always begins with the TV and radio being on where I am doing my morning activities. When I emerge from the bathroom, all freshly ablutioned, I generally proceed to the kitchen where there is a teeny little TV on the counter, and I click it to any of the typical morning News programs, and as I microwave my fake sausage patties and pour a cuppa coffee, I listen to the News, to warm up my brain.

I decided, though, why not give it a shot for a while, no News in the morning? No more! I gotta switch it up! See how I feel in a month or so, am I more focused and stuff, less fractured and divergent in my brainwaves? So I have not been looking at the TV News, listening to News on the radio, looking at newspapers or the stuff I look at on the internet where there’s News, nothing. Right now I don’t even listen to the radio or podcasts of people talking about supposedly non-News stuff. All I do is listen to music, and I have started this News Diet by abstaining from News all day, not just in the morning, all day, to completely break the routine and habit/association!

I might-maybe have been a little more focused? I dunno, it’s been different, definitely, and then this weekend people I know started saying stuff like “hey, that’s really awful, that thing that just happened,” and I didn’t want to say I was on a News Diet because I am trying to have a better life, but right away I felt like a dumbass because I didn’t know what was going on in The world. Anyway, I’m back on News now.

The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly wherever it can appear. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.

VISUAL CONSCIOUSNESS DEP’T.

The 2023 Adirondack Nationals car show, Lake George, NY, Part 1

More consciousness at Instagram.

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Practical Home Economics: 1245 Scientific Recipes, by Alice M. Donnelly A. B., University of Michigan, and Helen Cramp Ph. B., University of Chicago, published in 1919. This book is in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

RIBBON SANDWICHES
Cut two slices of white bread and two of brown. Butter three and spread with a thick paste made of hard-boiled egg very finely chopped and mixed with Mayonnaise dressing. Build the slices up one above the other, alternating brown and white, and placing the unbuttered slice on top. Before serving, slice down as you would a layer cake.

SWEET SANDWICHES
Butter thin slices of bread and spread with any kind of fruit jelly, jam, or marmalade. For variation mix the preserves with cream cheese. Currant jelly is especially good in this combination.

MOCK CRAB SANDWICHES
1/4 cup grated cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon mustard
1 teaspoon anchovy paste
1 tablespoon chopped olives
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons butter

Mix the ingredients to a cream and spread between thin slices of graham or white bread.

EGG AND OLIVE SANDWICHES No. 1
4 hard-boiled eggs
2 tablespoons chopped olives
Salt and pepper
Olive oil and vinegar

Chop the egg and mix with the olives; season and moisten with olive oil and vinegar. Spread between thin slices of buttered bread.

EGG AND OLIVE SANDWICHES No. 2
Yolks of 3 hard-boiled eggs
4 chopped olives
1 tablespoon butter
Salt and paprika
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon anchovy essence
Buttered slices of bread

Mix the eggs, olives, butter, and seasonings to a paste; spread between thin slices of bread, preferably round.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.

MARKETING DEP'T.

19 FOLKTALES collects a series of timeless tales of canny animals, foolish people, monsters, magic, ambition, adventure, glory, failure, inexorable death, and ripe fruits and vegetables. Written by Tom Scocca and richly illustrated by Jim Cooke, these fables stand at the crossroads of wisdom and absurdity.

HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. Your $20 plus shipping and tax helps fund The Brick House collective, a Publishing Concern featuring a globally diverse set of publishers doing their own thing, with interesting items and publications available for purchase at SHOPULA.

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