MR WRONG: Let me get this strait
Indignity Vol. 6, No. 46
JUST ONE TINY MINUTE DEP'T.
Tom Scocca
The next chapter of The Stairs is soon to appear here at Indignity, which means right now now is a most excellent moment to dive in and get caught up on THE STAIRS, Tom Scocca's serialized work of fiction!
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Warmaxxing Is Hellmaxxing
DO YOU KNOW what “mogging” is? A thing went by my eyeballs today while I was looking at stuff on my computer, it mighta been the New York Times, but I don’t know’ it’s all a big schmear of stuff, and I think it was an Explainerer about “mogging,” and like I said, I don’t know what that is, and I don’t give a fucking shit, on account of I am too busy trying to Get Paid and also to read the actual News about Important things like the Strait of Hormuz, which, I am always kinda proud I know without checking that it’s spelt S-T-R-A-I-T, it is a small Positive Affirmation, you know? Anyway, I don’t give a shit about “mogging,” which I believe is related to more bullshit such as Facial Maximization, or what is called “facemaxxing,” or “face-maxing,” or whatever the fuck, I never looked it up because this shit just flies through the air and attacks your brain when you are looking at the Internet, you know? I learned all I need to know about “maxxing,” get the fuck outta my brain’s face with this crapola, jeez.
I learned about that, the max of the face, because of this kid Clavicle or whatever, Encyclical, I don’t even want to know, I have to leave room in my brainspace for Real things! I even wrote some stuff about that ridiculousness in a previous episode of the Mr. Wrong column, and I can’t even remember it, it’s all a blur. How the fuck am I supposed to fucking remember anything when stupid fucking The President of the United States (POTUS) is bombing Iran and then whining about the Strait of Hormuz being closed because we (as in U.S.) are bombing Iran and killing people in Iran supposedly because of Nuclear Proliferation, even though we (as in U.S.) had a deal working for years with Iran but goddamn Dear Leader (POTUS) backed out of it! I read the news! The Previous Administrations were working on this Iran nuclear thing, and it wasn’t all nice!
David D. Kirkpatrick
This guy who looks like he’s in one of those movies about snipers and stuff was supposedly going around to Iranian nuclear scientists and telling them to like, defect or whatever before they got assassinated by somebody (U.S.), the whole time these other Negotiations were going on.
This is some classic Office Politics, seriously, I don’t mean to make it seem small, because people are getting killed behind all this, but one thing I learned when I had a Day Job was there are some slickee boys in every office, some sleazy dirtbags, in the officeplace, who always do this one move when somebody has an Idea or somebody is Doing Something:
Number One: If it’s not your Idea, and people think it’s a good Idea, shit on the Idea any way, anywhere you can, emails, memos, especially meetings.
Number Two: Get the Idea killed.
Number Three: Co-opt the Idea, make it yours, “Columbus” it or whatever, but now it’s a whole New Idea and you thought of it! Genius!
I saw this so many times because I am usually the person with an Idea, and when I used to work in an office, I saw people try to do this move on my ideas. Way back when I was gonna write my first Mr. Wrong column, the Editor wanted to know what it was going to be called, and I wanted to call it “Idea Man,” but then I wanted to make sure people understood I wasn’t trying to come off like I was a hundred percent in the right all the time, hence, Mr. Wrong, OK? I guess that’s my Origin Story, har!
So the Current Administration crapped all over the Iran deal and then they invented an Iran deal, and that’s why gas is six bucks a gallon in California, nice going. They tried to do the same thing with Obamacare, remember?
Where the hell was I? Mogging, right, I think it means whatever Iran is doing to us (U.S.) right now?
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City to Jersey City to New York City, May 24, 2026
★ The rain was total and ubiquitous: saturated leaves drooped; bubbles sped along the gutter, popping as they went; streaks of water stuck to the window screen; a moped sloshed down the middle of the avenue. New drops kept falling, fat ones, each making its own small, certain splat. For the moment, the humidity was stuffier than the chill was cold. The downpour became a lighter and colder shower and then a still-cold drizzle. A goose stood on one leg on the grass between the PATH station and the hotel, its face buried in its ruffled back, and released its cloaca. From the far side of the Hudson, the New York shoreline was sharply defined, but a few blocks inland the buildings faded into fog. It was cold enough inside the restaurant for the spilled liquid from soup dumplings to solidify. The night outside in Newport seemed to have cleared but the gusty PATH tunnel at 9th Street led out into a cloud of steam and beyond that a steady persisting drizzle.
New York City, May 25, 2026
★ Rain and dark trailed on into the morning. The air in the bathroom was so overpoweringly humid there didn't seem to be a way to wrap up the shower without sweat starting again. By midafternoon, though, the sun had arrived to provide a fleeting coda to the holiday weekend lost in cold sogginess. Wisps of white spread across what was now, too late, blue. The dark shapes of various insects swooped and darted against it, and far above them the dark shapes of hunting swifts or swallows swooped and darted too. Tree bark was green with moss. The twittering of the birds was lost to someone seizing the interlude to get a little powered yardwork done.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of a sandwich selected from Consolidated Library of Modern Cooking and Household Recipes, Vol. IV, by Christine Terhune Herrick, Editor-In-Chief, author of The Little Dinner, The Chafing-Dish Supper, etc., and associate author with Marion Harland of the National Cook Book, and a list of contributors which includes many of the famous chefs and cooking experts of the United States, published in 1905 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
SANDWICHES
Cut the crust from the loaf before slicing it for sandwiches ; this insures uniformity in size if they are not to be cut in a fancy shape. If butter is to be used, have it soft enough to spread easily, and spread it on the end of the loaf before cutting the slice; the latter can then be cut very thin and will not be broken in spreading.
Meat Sandwiches
Any kind of cold meat, roast beef or other roast meat, boiled beef tongue, ham, or potted meats are always in order for sandwiches. In using roast beef, cut very thin, carefully trim out any gristle or tendon, and cut the meat in small pieces. Either roast beef or boiled ham should be exceedingly tender to use in large slices. Ham is better chopped. After spreading sufficient on the slice of bread press together, and if the slices are large, cut into convenient size. A club sandwich must necessarily be large, but others are less awkward to handle if cut in two.
Use Worcestershire sauce or tomato catsup with roast beef, pork, or lamb. Tongue and ham require mustard.
The potted ham, tongue, and chicken that are to be had in small cans make a very satisfactory sandwich. Use separately or take equal parts of each, and mix to a paste with mayonnaise or boiled salad dressing or tomato catsup. Spread on either white or brown bread.
Chicken Sandwiches
Cut thin slices of white bread slightly buttered, and spread with thin slices of the breast of cold chicken; sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper, cover the chicken with mayonnaise or any other thick salad dressing, then with another slice of bread. Press lightly together and cut in two across the slice.
Egg Sandwiches
Chop 2 whites of hard-boiled eggs very fine. Put the yolks through a strainer or mash thoroughly with a silver fork. Mix well, season with salt and pepper, moisten with a little mayonnaise or cream salad dressing. Spread on buttered slices of white or entire-wheat bread, cover, and press lightly together.
Or slice the whites of the eggs very thin, lay them on the buttered bread, and cover with the seasoned yolks and dressing, then with a crisp lettuce leaf, and finish with a top slice of bread.
Russian Sandwiches
Spread saltine crackers or zepherettes with rich cream cheese, add chopped olives mixed with mayonnaise. Cover with one of the crackers and press together.
The cheese and olives are also delicious as a filling with slices of entire wheat or Boston brown bread.
If you are inspired to prepare a sandwich inspired by our continued offerings, be sure to send along a description of your experience and a photo or three to us here: indignity@indignity.net.
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
