Ooh, Scary! INDIGNITY Halloween Masks 2026

Indignity Vol. 6, No. 76

Print, Cut Out, and Terrify!

SEE EVERYTHING SEE EVERYTHING What could be more disturbing than three hours of staring into Elizabeth Holmes's eyes as they stare into Nathan Fielder's eyes as Billy Williams's eyes stare at the whole thing and a whole sold-out theater's worth of eyes stares at all the staring? All those eyes all at once, indefinitely!

ALL COMPUTE ALL THE TIME They're multiplying! But doing it inaccurately! A bunch of rich people decided to replace your helpful computer with computers that get things wrong and boss you around. Show up at the party as a brand-new data center, draining all the refreshments and making the room even more hot and crowded. Do they not want you there? Too bad!

RASH DEEDS Who needs scary makeup when you're covered in red spots? The only thing more contagious than a case of the measles, it turns out, is collective stupidity. Opt out of respect for your fellow humans and opt into the most avoidable of disease outbreaks!

ILLEGAL TENDER The law says the United States can't put a living person on the money. The Trump dollar coin says this must be some other country now, because here he is, scowling at you in low relief, right in your pocket. Cash never felt so cold and hard and hard as this.

WANNA BET? What if everything could be gambling? And what if all that gambling could be rigged? When you're a prediction market, War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death are just four more horses for your boxed quadfecta.

WE'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD SCARE UP A FEW BUCKS TO DROP INTO OUR BAG

Previously in OOH, SCARY!

RANKED LISTS DEP'T.

tobers, ranked:

ROCK

VISUAL CONSCIOUSNESS DEP'T.

Halloween at CVS

More consciousness at Instagram.

New York City, October 29, 2026

★★★ Purple clouds lay low across the mouth of the cross street, with a faded gibbous moon framed above. A haze more palpable than visible softened the crispness; the air in the subway car was stuffy. The rooftop trees on the mail depot stood artfully composed in golds and greens, dashed with scarlet and wine red, and the shapes of branches stood silhouetted on the superstructure in reflected light. The haze made a more definite showing on Lower Manhattan, flattening the buildings into variously shaded distance markers. The sun descended with discomfiting speed. An airplane, pink with sunset, flew north above the treetops of the Park. Fallen leaflets were caught in the synthetic spiderwebs like a swarm of yellow-brown flies.

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of sandwiches selected from Hilda's "Where is it?" of Recipes: Containing, amongst other practical and tried recipes, many old Cape, Indian, and Malay dishes and preserves: also directions for polishing furniture, cleaning silk, etc. and a collection of home remedies in case of sickness, by Hildagonda J. Duckitt, published in 1908 and now available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

SANDWICHES (EGG).

Two or three hard-boiled eggs, mashed very finely, and mixed with half an ounce of butter, some pepper and salt. Spread liberally on the bread and butter (cut as for an ordinary sandwich) with a sprinkling of watercress (cut small) or mustard and cress. The eggs may also be cut thinly and laid between the bread and butter, with pepper, and salt, and cress.

SANDWICHES (SAVOURY).

Very savoury sandwiches maybe made of bloater paste, etc., according to recipe, and boned anchovies and hard-boiled eggs.

For afternoon tea, sandwiches made with jam, or slices of cucumber, with lettuce, or thin omelet, make a nice variety to ordinary bread and butter.

BLOATER TOAST.
Ingredients.
1 teaspoonful of Bloater Paste.
1 teaspoonful Anchovy Sauce.
1 Tablespoonful of Cream, or Rich Milk.
1 oz. of Butter.
A little Cayenne.

Put these ingredients in a small jam-pot. Place the pot in a saucepan of boiling water; stir till it becomes a thick custard. Spread on buttered toast — crust cut off. Sufficient for two.

If you are inspired to prepare a sandwich inspired by our continued offerings, be sure to send along a description of your experience and maybe a few photos to us here: indignity@indignity.net.