Time to put the candy in the candy


Time to put the candy in the candy
Mise en place for this year’s sandwich effort. Kindly disregard the potato.

Building Our Discount Halloween Candy Sandwich, 2023 Edition

LAST TIME, AS we explored the frontiers of the seasonal candy experience, we showed you how to craft a sandwich that is 100 percent pure candy. This year, we went a little more traditional and used graham crackers as the substrate or platform or whatever it’s called in the Sandwich Industry.

No Dum-Dums, no Skittles, no Starbursts

All candy ingredients were purchased at the grocery store on Nov. 1, at substantial savings. We used chocolate or chocolate-adjacent candy, no Skittles or Dum-Dums or Starbursts.

Melted Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins and surrealistic Hershey’s

In a departure from our previous in-between-two-candy-bars method, we assembled graham cracker bases and then melted the mini chocolate candy bars a little in a 325-degree oven for about five minutes so we could implant other pieces of candy without having them fall off.

The Indignity Test Oven
An oddly-shaped green Ghoul’s Mix M&M’s. Scary!

Peanut Ghoul’s Mix M&M’s
Peanut Butter Ghoul’s Mix M&M’s
Campfire Smores M&M’s
Charleston Chew
Snack Size Payday
Chocolatey Payday
Hershey’s with Almonds
Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins

Not used:
KitKat Birthday Cake, which we bought on accident. Ugh.

Ugh: KitKat Birthday Cake, gross.

We found “chocolatey” PAYDAY, but it’s not as good as PAYDAY. You don’t get that top hit of salt on your way through the peanuts to the sugar-goop inside.

Chocolately Payday. Disappointing.

We used one of those chopper things to get the various candies into a form that would allow for smushing onto the graham crackers.

Chopped-up candy ready for melting, which enhances smushing
Campfire Smores M&M’s set into melted Hershey’s mini-bars
The smushing process
Completed sandwiches. How’s your A1C? Scary!

We think these came out pretty nicely, I mean, they’re made out of candy! The graham crackers make ‘em kinda dry, though, so we are going back to the grocery store for vanilla ice cream to slather inside.

If you decide to prepare and enjoy something resembling these sandwiches, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.


ALSO as a continuing Public Service we would like to remind you about SNACK SIZE PAYDAY.

If you decide to prepare and enjoy something resembling these sandwiches, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.

Indignity has more Bluesky codes, for people who want to try the still-beta Bluesky social network. If you haven’t already gotten a code from us, email indignity@indignity.net and we will award Bluesky codes to those who respond, one per reader, first email, first served. As always, thank you for reading.


WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Tried and Tested Recipes; A Collection of the Favorite and Choicest Recipes Used and Contributed by Ida Mckinley Tent No. 21, National Alliance, Daughters of Union Veterans of the Civil War. Dept. of Illinois, published in 1921. This book is in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

Butter thinly two slices of white bread. Fill sandwich with the following in layers: Lettuce leaf, salad dressing, thin slices of tomato, chopped celery, a little minced green sweet pepper. Cover with bread and cut across. A tempting dish for luncheon, healthful and delicious.

Peanut butter.
Sliced ham and mustard.
Sliced beef and dill pickle.
Cubed cucumbers and radishes moistened with salad dressing.
Chopped olives and celery and salad dressing.
—M. A. Deubler.

Chop fine 1 cup English walnuts and mix with cottage cheese moistened with sweet cream. Salt to taste and spread generously between slices of whole wheat bread.
—Constance Totten.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.


ATTENTION, BOOK SHOPPERS! We are pleased to announce that we have SOLD OUT the first printing of 19 FOLKTALES. A second printing, which corrects the unorthodox (collectible!) spine alignment of the first edition, is underway, but new orders may be delayed even more than they are under our usual hand-fulfillment system. Some signed copies are available as premiums for Kickstarter supporters of the new FLAMING HYDRA publishing enterprise, which we encourage you to support.

Totally not sold-out: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, available for purchase at SHOPULA.

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