MR WRONG: Hoop-de-doo
Indignity Vol. 6, No. 38
BEFORE THE CARTOON BEGINS DEP'T.
Tom Scocca
The next chapter of The Stairs appears here at Indignity tomorrow (Friday), so now is the time to get caught up on THE STAIRS, Tom Scocca's serialized work of fiction!
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: My Knicks Are Doing OK but the Owner Is a Bum
I AM A New York Knicks fan, and it is the Playoffs Season of basketball, and the Knicks are in the playoffs, and tonight I was looking for the game and couldn’t find it on my Sling streaming thing on my teevee, so I figured maybe the game was later or there wasn’t a game tonight.
A friend texted me and it was basically “Hey isn’t this is great we are watching the Knicks in the playoffs,” and so I looked on the internet and found out the Knicks game was on ESPN, which I do not have in my Sling TV plan, I have the Blue Sling, which does not have ESPN, so I had to switch immediately to the Orange Sling, and even though the Knicks have been wearing trendy black uniforms to sell more merch, it should be noted that the Official team colors of the New York Knicks are Orange and Blue, so I am in this Knicks/Orange Sling/Blue Sling vortex of paying too much for teevee.
I got Sling because fucking Cable TV costs too much. Also, nobody is paying the Mr. Wrong column to endorse Sling (I would totally take money to do that), but I don’t even feel like Sling is a super deal. However, it’s less than I was paying for Cable, and they let you stop your subscription whenever you want, which is a feeling of Power, you know? I can quit teevee whenever! The good thing about Sling TV is they will let you switch your plan immediately, and my sports disaster was averted. When I got the game up on my big screen, the score was NY 52 – ATL 19, and I thought it was a typo, but that was really the score, and again, I am a New York Knicks fan, so I am not particularly excited about this apparent rout in progress, because the Knicks historically don’t do well, so I have a certain amount of managed expectations and humility, you know?
Also, I am certainly not going to crap on the other team for losing so hard, I even feel bad for them, it’s hurtful to get beat that bad at your Professional sport, even though the guys on the court play sports for a living and make gazillions of dollars.
The thing that bugs me though, the reason I can’t have an unadulterated good time about my Knicks being in a ridiculously commanding lead (83–36 at the half, the largest halftime lead in the history of the NBA) is that the guy who is in charge of the team is a rich jerk a-hole.
This guy, James Lawrence Dolan, is I think what can be called a Nepo Baby, on account of his father Charles Francis Dolan, owned the first company to wire NYC for the miracle of Cable Television, and went on to found Home Box Office. His company Cablevision ended up being this monster business that basically owned the Knicks and some other teams. When the elder Dolan clocked out of life, he was worth over five billion dollars.
So James Dolan does stuff like run a Surveillance State in the arena he manages, New York’s Madison Square Garden, home of my New York Knicks.
In 2022, it was reported that Dolan had instituted a policy of using facial recognition at his venues to prevent admission to attorneys whose law firms were engaged in legal disputes with Dolan and his businesses, even when those attorneys had legitimate tickets to the show or event.
That’s like, Totalitarian State! Keeping his enemies out of his playhouse! That’s the kinda stuff that goes on in this Economy, eh? Also:
Under Dolan's watch, MSG implemented controversial media policies limiting access to players. Some of these measures included prohibiting reporters and Knicks' beat writers from interviewing players without an MSG public relations official present, forbidding one-on-one interviews, and banning writers who write articles critical of the organization. The policies also forbid the MSG Network from being critical of the Knicks and the Rangers, regardless of their performance. Such measures were not standard practice for other NBA teams.
This dingle-doink is also an enemy of a Free Press, and I am almost a Journalist, I haz column! Anyway, the New York Knicks—technically the New York Knickerbockers, which is a whole other thing, oy:
An obsolete nickname for Anglo-Dutch "old line" families of New York City, Manhattan's elite or residents of New York City.
OK, so like I was saying, the New York Knicks are destroying at basketball. Destroyed, I mean, the game just ended and it was 140 — 89, and I should be super happy, but I’m not. If you are watching your team win, I hope you can enjoy it.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, April 25, 2026
[No stars] The sky was the color of a shower curtain in a grimy hotel, with the water pressure working all too well. The pizza for dinner arrived with a sheet of water on the box and a dose of guilt for the water sheeting the delivery rider's rain pants. The Uber splashed its way through the gray Bronx under the gray sky, past a variable sign warning of bad driving conditions. The basketball gym was somewhere in an endless school complex of rain-darkened concrete surrounded by endless dripping scaffolding. The colored lights of the Andrea Motel shone through the blur of the continuing rain.
New York City, April 26, 2026
★★ The pavement slowly dried out through the morning and the daylight slowly strengthened. Filtered sun beat down on the back of the hired car, and cool air couldn't find its way past the tinted window baffle. It was chilly inside the dark, timber-roofed gymnasium, on the slatted antique seats. Out front, the grass was studded with dandelions in yellow bloom and gray-white puffball. In the hour or so it took to get the game done, the atmosphere cleared and the light grew pure and strong. The fuzzy damp chill, though, simply became a sharp dry chill.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of a sandwich recipe found in Cobalt Souvenir and Cook Book: A Collection of Choice Tested Recipes, contributed and compiled by The Ladies of the Presbyterian Church, Cobalt, Ontario Canada, published in 1908 by Ladies' Aid, Presbyterian Church, Cobalt, Ontario, now available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
CHICKEN FOR SANDWICHES.
One-half teaspoon mustard, two eggs, one-half cup cream, one chicken boiled and chopped. Smooth mustard in beaten eggs, add salt and pepper. Mix chicken and cream and boil altogether for five minutes. Let cool and spread. — Mrs. J. Ralph Gordon.
If you are inspired to prepare a sandwich inspired by our continued offerings, be sure to send along a description of your experience and a photo or three to us here: indignity@indignity.net.
SELF-SERVING SELF-PROMOTION DEP'T.
