MR WRONG: Tips? Tops!
Indignity Vol. 6, No. 74
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: The Greatest Gift Is a Free Column
THANK YOU, EVERYONE, for reading the Mr. Wrong column, and thank you with more thanks on top to everyone who sends Indignity a couple-few bucks above and beyond, in the form of responding to our TIP/DONATE button that we put in between every paragraph!
Just kidding, that was my idea, to have The Button occur more frequently, but we don't do that yet! Stay tuned, har!
It's been awhile since I did a roundup of Tips and Donations, and I think it's important to thank the folks who directly put some stash in Indignity's slide by clicking the Tip/Donation button.
On Thursday, Jan 1, 2026, Jim B wrote:
“Happy New Year!”
Like I said, it's been awhile! Thank you JB, for your Paid Support of Indignity, your generous Tip/Donation, and Happy New Year back at you, there's still some left!
Also, sidebar: I dunno if you ever noticed, but Indignity has a "crawl," uh, well, crawling across the top of our home page.
In response to THE CRAWL, KMN writes:
"CONTACT indignity@indignity.net WITH YOUR CONCERNS" Is this invitation recent? I never noticed it before. I have a lot of concerns.Where should I start?
Anywhere you want! This is our way of soliciting your input and questions! Feel free to contact! It is open to all, but we listen a li'l bit harder to Paid Supporters of Indignity, not trying to be mean, just saying, har! Aw, c'mon, I'm kidding, Indignity encourages correspondence, seriously and by all means, except if you aren't a Paid Supporter you can't use the COMMENTS section, that's all, you can always email us right here: indignity@indignity.net.
Alright, so today we are presenting a buncha comments (names withheld, but if any of you Generous Readers quoted here want your name in the column, lemme know), included with an assortment of Tips/Donations that Indignity has received over the past year.
Sometimes people click The Button to Tip or Donate to Indignity but they don't write anything in the "Personal note" space.
Look, if you decide to Tip or Donate, please include a little note! We appreciate the communication, and I ain't gonna lie, this is a great way to get The Gentle Readers Who Tip and Donate to help write a column! Everybody wins! Here we go!
In response to last week's column about how it was my birthday, Andrew G writes:
Personal note: “Man, I have a ‘milestone’ barreling down at me and it's a trap. The expectations are too much! Anyway hope you had a great one!!”
For no reason in particular, Jane S writes:
“thanks.”
How great is that? Just putting “thanks,” even, in the “Personal note” section means a lot to us here at Indignity, feedback! Along with the cash! Can't lie!
ZDM writes:
Personal note: “$5.00 ain't $1.00 my man”
OK, this one I think I can explain, it's because there was a Tip/Donate button that said:
However, there is a default amount when you click the Tip/Donate Button, it's five bucks, look:
See, but there's a little pencil at the right, we weren't trying to trick anybody into sending us a fiver! Valued Indignity Supporter ZDM figured it out and, along with their “Personal note”—which again, we really do appreciate the notes—ZDM shipped us a buck, and we appreciate you, ZDM! Thanks!
T-Two writes:
Personal note: “Only problem with Mr. Wrong is I can't get his voice out of my head for an hour afterwards. The Har is on me I guess!”
Har! We have been thinking here at Indignity—we do that sometimes—about a Mr. Wrong podcast, but I dunno, my real voice might be worse than the voice you have in your head!
As part of a separate Tip/Donation event, T-Two writes:
Personal note: “Had to go back a few columns to leave a tip, but just wanted to say I don't need the link about the stadium, my trust in Mr. Wrong is total.”
See, so part of this note is because sometimes we don't even put the Tip/Donate Button!
Also, though, I really appreciate TT's trust in the Mr. Wrong column! In a previous baseball-centric iteration of the Mr. Wrong column, I was trying to put a link to “nottinghammd.com,” but there was a technical/sketchy/annoying thing that would pop up.
Anyway, thank you for your support, and your Trust, TT! The Mr. Wrong column strives to be Responsible and sometimes even Service Journalism!
David W writes:
Personal note: “In my mind your columns are filed from the pool. e.g. ‘Dateline: A MICRO POOL IN AN UNDISCLOSED NEIGHBORHOOD, BALTIMORE’”
So like, not only do I appreciate David W's kind and generous Donation—or Tip, we actually aren't sure what the difference is, but I keep saying both things, in case somebody doesn't wanna Tip, but they would like to Donate, does that make sense?
Sorry, I got sidetracked, like I was trying to say, David W is saying a thing I wish I could make happen someday, to peck out a Mr. Wrong column from the safety and luxury of my Micro Pool™!
Jumping outta the pool now, here's another important communication that was included as a "Personal note" with a Tip/Donation!
Deanette B writes:
Personal note: “Thank you for The Stairs!”
Yes! How great is The Stairs? A serialized Young Adult novel! Right here via the pixels of Indignity! You can read the complete novel now!
Tom Scocca
We appreciate the note and the support, Deanette B, but enough about that, this is the Mr. Wrong column, let's get back to me!
JD writes
Personal note: “Well Done! A drink on me. Enjoy Bro!”
This particular Supporter of the Mr. Wrong column was not being overly familiar, this is from a friend of mine, and furthermore, a friend who takes the time to read the Mr. Wrong column! I am rich beyond the price of a coupla drinks! Also though, hey, always happy to accept the price of a coupla drinks!
MAR writes:
Personal note: “You the tone”
The tone! How great is that? Thank you for your generous support!
Dave B writes:
Personal note: “I used to pay annually for Mr Wrong, and all the other great stuff. I would happily revert to some annual payment. Weekly columns that arrive like clockwork have value.”
OK, Dave B is addressing a problem we have with the Indignity pay-mechanism, and we are going to be addressing this in great detail next week! Now for something slightly different!
The above supporter Dave B, in a separate donation, writes:
Personal note: “I enjoy the Mr Wrong column, and while this money is untethered, it would make me happy if Mr Wrong used it to sate his scratch off jones. Happy milestone birthday.”
Untethered! Since I am indeed a scratch-offs enthusiast, I took that as an Instruction, not a suggestion, and purchased eight bucks worth of MARYLAND TREASURES scratch-offs, and next week I will scratch them off! Stay tuned!
Thank you all for your notes, and Tips, and Donations, and thank you to the folks who Tipped (and/or Donated) and did not include a note!
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, September 20, 2026
★ It wasn't really hot but it may as well have been. The morning showers moved off and the midday showers moved in, with only a brief brightening of the gray-green light between. The hours grew soggy and crumbled away in tedium, under cloud cover just far enough from featureless to show it was moving. A low decaying stump squatted between the rainbow-colored school fence and the building wall. The front of the wine bar was open to the sidewalk and a customer sat there in shirtsleeves and a knit hat. A drizzle was falling too lightly to do anything about it. A man sprayed down the sidewalk with a hose, making up for the rain's failure to wash things clean. The only touch of grace in the whole landscape was in the immense hanging clusters of russet seedpods on a goldenrain tree.
New York City, September 21, 2026
★★★★ Chopped-up morning cloud shade quickly resolved into full brilliant sunshine and a blue sky embellished with dabs and speckles of high, flat clouds. Aboveground it was optional jacket weather, though the subway remained close and hot. The clouds gathered into fuller but still incomplete sheets. Blue-shirted people sat out having after-work drinks on the way to Penn Station. The restaurant for dinner used real candles still and a cold draft from the front reached all the way to the table to spin the flame around and pull it low and sideways till it cut through the outer rim of wax and then went out.
New York City, September 22, 2026
★★ The threat of rain moved off and stayed away, leaving the last hours of summer to pass under skies that were gray but not quite sealed over. It was time to be finding jeans and thinking about sweaters. The gusts, chilly though they were, still lacked real bite. A cab's roof sign was distractingly aglow as it advanced down the dim cross street into peripheral vision. There was just enough incipient gold color in the leaves in the Park to add a richer note to the gloom. Now the boneset in its flourishing had picked up branches of the exhausted pokeweed and was yanking them upward along with it. A small dead snag, a dozen feet high and bypassed by Parks maintenance, stood rotting and bright with exposed wood where its heavy bark had fallen away.
New York City, September 23, 2026
★★★★ Big clouds, bulging like hammer heads, moved fast against a whitened sky. A rising gust of wind clattered one point of the shirt collar like castanets. The Hudson was silver; the reflection of cars passing down in the trench of 10th Avenue flickered and glinted on wide windows. The clouds gradually slowed down, and more complicated forms were succeeded by neatly shaded cumulus drifting under high blurry white sheets and open blue. A few of the honeylocust pods had fallen to the sidewalk, and some elongate acorns, green shading to brown. The windows could only be left a little way open lest the apartment get too cold, and the wind moaned around them like a monstrously oversized dove. The cat, nerves sharpened by the drafts, thwapped at the radiator and scratched at a painting and at last resorted to actually bouncing herself off the walls.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of sandwiches selected from Household Discoveries and Mrs. Curtis's Cookbook: An Encyclopaedia of Practical Recipes and Processes, by Sidney Morse, published by Success Company's Branch Offices in 1908 and now available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Tongue Sandwiches.
1 cupful finely chopped tongue,
1 teaspoonful made mustard,
1 tablespoonful soft butter,
1/4 teaspoonful paprika,
Yolk 1 hard-boiled egg,
Juice 1/2 lemon,
Dash nutmeg.
Chop the tongue fine, and mix thoroughly with the other ingredients. Spread between thin slices of bread.
Ham Sandwiches.
2 cupfuls finely chopped ham,
1 cucumber pickle,
2 teaspoonfuls made mustard,
2 tablespoonfuls butter,
1/4 teaspoonful pepper.
Put the ham through a meat chopper, using the finest knife. Mix perfectly smooth with the butter and seasonings and spread between slices of bread from which the crusts have been cut.
Baked-Bean Sandwiches.
1/2 cupful baked beans,
1 tablespoonful horse-radish,
1 teaspoonful celery and parsley minced fine,
1/2 teaspoonful onion juice,
1/2 teaspoonful mustard,
Dash McIlhenny’s Tabasco Sauce.
Press the beans through a potato ricer, mix with the seasoning, and spread between slices of entire-wheat bread.
If you are inspired to prepare a sandwich inspired by our continued offerings, be sure to send along a description of your experience and maybe a few photos to us here: indignity@indignity.net.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
Here is the Indignity Morning Podcast archive!
TOM SCOCCA
S_BST_CK IS DOUBLEPLUS UNGOOD DEP'T.
