MR WRONG: In sickness and in health

COLUMN DEP’T.

MR WRONG: Reclaiming Your Time From The Man

THE OTHER DAY I saw this thing on Bluesky, which is where I look at tweets anymore, since Twitter got all messed up.

I don’t know who Ben Collins is, but I “followed” them anyway, because I agree with their post of “Good,” in reaction to the headline “‘I Just Wasn’t in the Mood to Work.’ American Employees Reinvent the Sick Day,” and then also I noticed this item to which they were reacting is from the Wall Street Journal, which is the voice of The Man, and I am very Conscious about trying to be polite and civil about Gendering, but I have always called The Man “The Man” in this column-space, and I am happy to accept submissions for a substitute term with which to refer to The Man, who has had their boot on my working-for-a-living neck since I sold newspaper subscriptions door-to-door. The Man! “The Bosses” could be a name for The Man, but it seems a little too Communist Manifesto or something. “The Oppressor” could be a name for The Man, but it seems like too many syllables or something, you know? “The Man” is all-encompassing, or pithy, or something, I dunno. I would appreciate some critical Direction on this topic.

Anyway, the Wall Street Journal saying that crap about Sick Day made me angry, like, if you work someplace that has Sick Days, how many times have you heard somebody say “Yeah, I called in Sick, as in ‘Sick of working,’ hiyo.” I do not think “Younger employees” lowered the bar for using Sick Days, it’s just they are just more Transparent about it, which is very Healthy, but if History has taught us anything, it’s that the American Worker tends to be punished by The Man for Honesty.

Meanwhile, there is the whole “Mental Health Day” thing, and really, “Mental Health Day” is also frequently “Sick of This Fuckin’ Job Day,” you know? Sick Day! Also there is “Personal Day,” which is mos def part of the vast and labyrinthine HR game run by The Man and their Beancounters, because a lotta times you have these different types of Days Off, upon which a flimsy latticework of Human Resources rules are impressed, with the result that you, the Human, can’t combinate a Sick Day with a Personal Day with a Vacation Day with a Flex Holiday, etc. I think it’s nice to be considerate, so when you are able, try and give your Supervisor a little advance notice about your Sick Day, that’s really my only issue with any of this, but also, I know the whole game of being Honest with a Supervisor, and that can turn into a whole Thing, so you know how to play it, and really, your Supervisor gets paid to deal with the “problems” you create, right?

The whole thing here is that they (The Man) de facto do not want you to enjoy life and have a nice amount of time off because you’re somehow fucking with their money. Says it right up there under the Wall Street Journal headline, which some folks call the “subhead” and others call the “deck,” whatever you call the underbeneath the headline words, the sequel to the headline. It’s costing them money!

Employees are supposed to cost money! Human Resources! Any goddamn Resource costs money! What the fuck! The Man just wants a goddamn roomful of lowkey Golden Gooses crapping out ingots all day for a little bit of cracked corn! Take a fucking Sick Day whenever you want! Thank you, and The Workers Control The Means of Production.

Speaking of Bluesky, the Editor of Indignity (speaking of Sick Days) has sandbagged a bunch of codes that will let you start a Bluesky account, which I recommend. I don’t know anything about Threads or whatever else is going on, but Bluesky so far seems the most like Twitter, back when Twitter was Twitter and not run by that gashead who thinks they invented the letter “X.” Anyway, email us at indignity@indignity.net and we will award Bluesky codes to those who respond, one per reader, first email, first served. Thank you for reading this notice.

The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly wherever it can appear. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.

VISUAL CONSCIOUSNESS DEP’T.

Autumn

More consciousness at Instagram.

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Practical Home Economics: 1245 Scientific Recipes, by Alice M. Donnelly A. B., University of Michigan, and Helen Cramp Ph. B., University of Chicago, published in 1919. This book is in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

JAPAN SANDWICHES
Chop raw oysters fine; season with pepper, salt, and horseradish. Spread a little on a thin slice of buttered bread; add a crisp lettuce leaf and a second slice of bread.

CAVIAR SANDWICHES
Remove the crusts from thin slices of bread; spread with caviar mixed with lemon juice; roll each slice and fasten with a toothpick or serve flat as usual.

SARDINE SANDWICHES
Skin and bone the sardines and mash to a paste. Season with lemon juice, cayenne pepper and salt, and spread between thin slices of bread.

CHEESE FILLING FOR SANDWICHES
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1/4 teaspoon mustard
Salt and paprika
1 cup grated cheese

Melt the butter; stir in the flour; then add the milk gradually and let it cook until a thick paste is formed. Take from the fire; add the seasoning; work in the grated cheese, and set away until needed. Except in very warm weather this will keep a week.

CLUB SANDWICH
2 slices bread
2 slices chicken breast
2 leaves lettuce
2 slices bacon
Mayonnaise dressing

Toast the bread to a delicate brown and fry the bacon crisp. On one slice of toast place lettuce leaves, covering them with Mayonnaise; then lay on the pieces of chicken and the bacon; cover again with Mayonnaise; put on the second slice of toast; press down and cut through the sandwich diagonally. Work as quickly as possible so that the toast and bacon may be hot when served.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.

MARKETING DEP'T.

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